Upping the Hormones

Three weeks ago, after a little of three months on a very low dosage of hormones, my doctor and I decided to double the dosage and switch over to injections. The results have been noticeable physically, although there hasn't been much of a mental difference that I can notice. The first week on the higher dose was an emotional roller coaster, but it quickly subsided. I would hazard a guess that low doses are enough to change neural firing patterns through receptor kinetics and eventual transcription processes, but that the low doses are not enough to affect things like fat deposition and breast growth. Since intestinal absorption isn't 100% by any stretch, what was getting into my system was even less than the swallowed dose.

Within days of the first injections, however, my chest felt tender, and buds have begun to form. Maybe too much information, but if you're reading this blog I doubt you mind. The process has continued at a fast pace. Also, new hair has sprouted on my head where it hasn't been before, which is odd and might be a product of the higher dose of spironolactone as much as the estradiol. The other effects are also noticeable: softer skin, more oil in the hair. A part of me feels that descriptions like this are a sort of navel gazing, something I've never been a fan of in the past. But I know I will forget how the process went at some point, and the trans experience is novel enough that a solid timeline of the transition might prove useful for myself and possibly someone else. 

In terms of subjective experience, I am still riding high. I have never felt more comfortable in my body. I've taken up running (no more weights), and it actually feels good! It's like I inhabit my legs, my back, my arms, in a way I never did before. Like there's room for me here inside.